The Eleventh Hour
by Hermione W. Cullen
Summary: What if Bella never went to Port Angeles with Jessica in NM? How would the entire series be different? AU, BXE, yadda yadda. In character, promise.
1. Vacuum

**Chapter One: Vacuum.**

Graduation.

The day that should have been fateful. The day that would signify a turning point in all of my classmates' lives. I had no particular feelings about graduation, one way or the other. It was just another day. One more day to get through. One more day of clawing at the wall of pain, trying to rescue some feeling, some personality, some semblance of myself. Just another empty day.

I'd lost count of the months that had passed since he left me. But for the clocks ticking by, but for the calendars turning, it could have been a year or it could have been an hour. Time was empty. Everything seemed empty. There was no substance to my existence; I didn't even have the energy to be hollow. My life was a vacuum; there was no room for emotion any more. It was like having the flu; you get to that point where you don't feel uncomfortable any more, just numb, where you can watch your hand turn the page of your book and not feel that it's really you doing it. Indifferent. Detached.

Standing in my bedroom as we were about to leave the house, I heard Charlie call my name. I looked into the mirror one last time. My body seemed flat, almost two-dimensional, in its apathy. My eyes were dead and empty. Even my hair was listless. I would have sighed as I pulled on the polyester robe, but I couldn't gather the motivation. I smushed the cap over my dull hair, stared out the window for a long moment, and headed down the stairs.

Charlie received me more hopefully than usually, giving me a hug and expressing his excitement about my graduation. When he felt my return hug—about as enthusiastic as a cardboard box—I saw worry kindle in his eyes. I must look more uninterested than usual, I realized. Try as I might, I just couldn't seem to care.

"You ready to go?" asked Charlie, his voice cautious, almost tentative.

"Sure. Yeah," I replied in a lifeless voice.

Charlie studied me for a moment. "You all right?" he finally asked me. I bit my lip, considering the question. No, I was not all right. Maybe he thought I'd go into one of my spasms of pain again. There hadn't been any of those in months—not since I'd realized the truth of the matter, that he was never coming back. That was when I had started to extricate every little bit of me with Edward imprinted on it, to completely efface his existence from my memory. To destroy myself bit by bit. I tore away at myself until there was nothing left. But I liked it better that way. I didn't have a high capacity for pain; it was easier, better, to feel nothing at all. But at Charlie's fatherly concern, a little spout of affection bubbled up into my face.

"What kind of question is that?" I asked, attempting a teasing tone, rearranging my muscles into a painful smile.

"I dunno, Bells. Sometimes…Well, I just wish…never mind. You could've, you know…" he looked at me with real pain in his eyes, the pain of a parent who thinks they have failed their child. "Sometimes I think you'd've been better off if you hadn't come here in the first place. Sometimes I think it'd be better if you went away now."

I shuddered. Yup, there was a little bit of annoyance in there too. "No, dad," I whispered with conviction. "We've already had this conversation. I absolutely cannot leave now."

"Well, I just worry…in three months you'll be in Seattle attending college, and what'll happen to you there if you're still like…like this? There's no guarantee you'll be okay…and maybe a change would do you some good. Nothing else seems to help, Bella. _Nothing_ helps! I've tried everything! What do you want me to do?" His voice was louder now, and hoarse with emotion. He looked at me imploringly, no doubt thinking of all his failed attempts at resurrecting my personality—sending me to a shrink (ineffective, as I was unable to tell her anything important without betraying _him_), dragging me to Hoquiam to visit the Blacks (Jacob's eagerness had been unable to penetrate the protective shell I'd formed by that point, well into spring), even trying to send me to Florida to live with mom. That was where I had drawn the line…

"Dad, we're going to be late," I said tonelessly. Detaching myself to avoid the threat of becoming involved in the conversation. If I did that, it might all come rushing back…

"Okay, let's go," he said sadly. "I won't argue this any more. I just…"

"I know. Really, though, we have about five minutes to get there."

Charlie sighed and led the way out the door. As we entered the cruiser (I let him drive me now, I didn't care), I thought I saw a flash of something near the forest, but I couldn't be sure.

The preparations passed quickly, and I soon found myself walking robotically toward the cheap brown podium, preparing to take my diploma from a smiling assistant principal. I barely remembered to force a smile, I was trying so hard to stop my imagination running away with me. My mind was fixated on suppressing the vivid images I had…Images of him in the crowd, so clear I almost felt like I could hear is soft cheer, a whisper drowning beneath the layers of screams, a sigh from an insubstantial ghost. I shook my head a little, trying to shake off the cloud of feeling hovering over me.

Charlie insisted on taking me out to dinner. We went to the nicest restaurant in town, Charlie's favorite place for steak. I ordered, waited, and ate my whole burger without tasting it—almost resembling a normal human, from the outside. But I couldn't remember the last time I'd bothered to savor my food. Most of the time I was too busy trying to convince myself that there was a point in eating.

"Bella, honey, are you ready to go?" Charlie asked. He hadn't remarked on how quiet I'd been at dinner; he was used to it by now.

"Yeah," I replied, gathering my coat and putting it on. I followed him through the twilit parking lot and slid into the passenger seat of the cruiser, bland and silent as usual.

When we got home, I told Charlie I needed time alone. He understood, of course; When didn't I? I entered my room, sat on the bed, and stared out the window again. I forced myself to be empty, forced myself not to let all the memories that that window held return. Memories of his face, appearing night after night in the frame of that window. Memories of his cold arms around me as he sang my lullaby…

I sighed softly, knowing I couldn't let those memories return, wanting to relive them more than anything. Frustrated, I pulled off my red sweater and khaki skirt, threw on my pajamas, and got in bed. I tossed and turned for a moment, wondering impatiently why I couldn't just lay there silently, why sleep wouldn't come to me. It occurred to me that the light was still on. I got up, stormed over to the light switch, flicked it violently, and stumbled off to bed in the dark.

I lay there stiffly, contemplating whether to turn some relaxing music on. No, no music, I decided. Music was just another reminder.

The wind howling against the windowpanes made me restless, played tricks on my mind. The violent sound of the rain splattering against the vinyl siding of the house wasn't exactly relaxing either. My mind wandered at top speed, everything I'd been repressing broiling under the surface. I knew there would be no sleep for me tonight. Rather than leave my mind to its own devices in the dark, I turned the light back on and picked up _Wuthering Heights_. However, after a moment I grew tired of Cathy's shallow selfishness and Heathcliff's outright villainy. I slammed the book down, frustrated that I couldn't distract myself fully. I propped my head against the pillow and lay back, my muscles uncomfortable and burning to move. I fidgeted and twitched, trying my very best not to think.

I _tried_ not to think, but the memories kept coming, and soon I couldn't help myself. I found myself trapped in my own mind, replaying everything I had lost. It was vivid in my memory; every touch, every kiss, every glimpse of his golden eyes stood out above all else. I found myself staring into the yellow light of the street lamp outside, thinking that was nothing compared to that butterscotch glow…

Then I couldn't help myself. My voice was bursting to feel his name again.

"Edward?" I whispered, searching. It was amazing how those two little syllables rang with significance, how they filled my head and took over my thoughts. I knew I was going to regret this. I knew the pain would return with a vengeance, worse than every before. But at the moment, I didn't care. I closed my eyes and savored the sound of his name.

Then, a miracle occurred…an answering whisper, so soft I could never have heard it if I hadn't been listening with my whole soul. Even though it had been eight months since I'd last heard it, even though it was so low now that there was no way I could be certain…I knew for a fact that this was the voice I'd been waiting to hear. And I knew it was real.

"Bella?" came the breath, soft and sweet and sad and pain-riddled. It couldn't be, I thought to myself. And yet, I couldn't help it; my whole being cried out to find the source of that voice.

I bolted upright, all thoughts gone from my head. That voice…I looked around…no, it couldn't be…

But it was. His face appeared out of the shadows, bringing everything rushing back. In that one moment, the moment I saw his face again, I felt everything I'd put off for the past…too many months. It was like being dumped headfirst into a pool of deep, cold water after spending a year in the desert. There was a sudden clarity, a burst of feeling. I felt ragged, I felt whole, I felt like imploding and exploding all at the same time. I felt that I could fill the whole world with my joy, and at the same time I felt horribly, crushingly, heart-breakingly sad. The universe could have collapsed and I wouldn't have noticed, because he was there. Tangibly, beyond shadow of a doubt, Edward Cullen was right in front of me.

"Bella," he whispered again. He seemed to be testing the words, tasting them on his lips. "Isabella Swan." His face was apprehensive, almost scared, as if he wasn't quite sure why he was there. Like it was _wrong_ of him to be there.

And I didn't care, at that moment, what he was there for. Edward filled my mind, occupied my soul, eclipsed any sense of self or surroundings that I might have had. I should have called his name. I should have asked him why he was there. Instead, all I could think of was jumping out of bed and running into his cold embrace.

His arms were waiting. I touched his marble skin, smelled his unbearably sweet breath, and felt like a human again.

"Edward," I said, pronouncing his name as carefully as he had mine. I looked up into his face and lost control; it was all I could do not to let out a squeal of joy. "You're home!" I hugged him tighter, and he buried his face in my hair, inhaling deeply. He sighed.

"Without a doubt," his beautiful, wonderful, velvety voice said with conviction. "This is home."

A/N: Before you review, remember—this is based on the idea that Bella never went to Port Angeles with Jessica, therefore never hearing Edward's voice. Which means she never bought the motorcycles. Which means she never went to see Jacob. This is an AU, and though I'm starting in character, they will develop slightly differently. Please keep that in mind.


	2. Clarity

**Chapter Two: Clarity.**

I held on to him for a long time, letting his cold touch bring the feeling tingling back into my limbs, feeling his sweet breath banish the numbness.

After a few moments, some of my reality came rushing back. I removed myself from him, my breathing still ragged from the exhaustive emotion of the reunion. I explored my misty mind for the right words. However, those words were doing a very good job of concealing themselves behind my newly rediscovered thoughts. 

"Erm…why…why are you here?" I asked. I seemed unable to regain my breath.

Despite his previously befuddled expression, he…_Edward_…answered steadily enough, not even taking the time to think about it. "I'm here because I couldn't stay away," he answered. "I couldn't survive without you. I didn't have the courage. I'm here because I couldn't focus on anything but you, couldn't shut down for one second, couldn't let you go. Because I love you. Because my love for you occupies the very core of my being. Because I am a monstrous creature who is unable to control his selfish desires. Because you were written into my every thought, and I couldn't remove you. Because if I were human, I could have died for love of you. Because love isn't a strong enough word. Because I just said all of that without even bothering to check if you wanted to hear it…" his voice trailed off as his pain smothered it.

My heart was a battering ram against my fortified rib cage, beating with the strength of a hundred men…no, a hundred vampires. I could barely breathe. I looked at him with amazement. For the second time, I was unable to find the words to answer him. My answering comment was hideously, idiotically moronic…

"Pinch me," I breathed. I cursed myself. Couldn't I even find breath for an "I love you, too"? Couldn't I confess what being without him had done to me? How I wanted him with me forever, never to leave me for one moment? No. All I could manage were two stupid, blasé words. He backed away a little bit, clearly trying to conceal the pain in his eyes.

"I could never hurt you again, Bella," he whispered. At the agony in his voice, speech suddenly came back to me.

"What are you doing, backing away like that? I've been holding my breath for months, waiting for you. You can't take away my air again. I might suffocate." I stood up again, impressed with my borderline-poetic words, and crossed the new distance between us. Now that my feelings had returned, there was room for more passion in our embrace. When I held him I could feel myself burning, melting against the ice of his chest. At that moment, I realized something. All these months I'd been secretly afraid that I'd lost my ability to express emotion; I'd feared that I might have lost even this, the most important part of my existence, my love for Edward. Now I realized that I'd never stop loving him. That there was no way in Hell I would ever let anyone—even Edward himself—tear us apart again. I braided my fingers into his hair, forgetting to be careful, and felt a flame consume me. I pulled myself up toward his face.

In the moment that our lips met, Edward erased the universe. He was the only thing in my world, the only thing there was room for. How _could_ there be space for anything besides his immeasurable beauty? Edward's name filled my thoughts, my senses engulfed by the feel of his hair, the smell of his skin, the unbearably delicious taste of his lips…

It was just like Edward to pull away. Just like him to tighten the line of his jaw and put out the fire in his eyes. His eyes stayed soft, though, and his gaze held only love and adoration, no hint of disgust or uncertainty or rejection of any kind. I shuddered to remember his words that night, the words that had haunted me, the words that brought a question boiling to my lips now.

"What happened to 'I don't love you'?" I asked him, my voice quiet and tentative. I really didn't want to discuss this, but there was so much doubt left over, so much shrapnel from when he dropped that bomb…I just had to know.

He winced, the pain coming back to his eyes.

"That was never true, Bella. How could I stop loving you? How could you ever doubt my love for you? It was inconceivably hard to say those words…and even harder to see that you believed every one of them. How could you believe the lie and not the truth? Do you really think so little of me?"

"I never deserved your love to begin with. It was easy to believe what I'd been telling myself the entire time. That you didn't love me, that you couldn't love me. It's not doubt when you never believed it at all." Edward looked at me incredulously.

"Isabella Swan," he said simply, "that is the most foolish excuse I've ever heard. I could never let you go. There is nothing so incredibly important as you…nothing so incredibly beautiful. I don't know how you could doubt that for one second…"

"Why'd you leave, then?" I asked bitterly, almost harshly, and felt him stiffen in my arms. It took him a moment to gather his thoughts.

"Well, that's exactly it…you are the center of my universe, and I wanted to protect you. I thought I was strong enough to protect you. I thought, maybe, if I could remove myself from your life completely, could make you forget…that you might be able to lead a normal, human life, away from danger, away from…I thought that maybe you could just be you. I want the best for you, Bella…and I am the worst possible choice for you." I looked up at his face. It was filled with incredible sincerity. What kind of creature was he? How had I gotten so lucky?

"You know, Edward," I began as I pulled him closer to me, unable to bear the slightest distance between us, "you're not right all the time. Just then, for instance, when you said you were the worst possible choice for me. You are in fact the _only_ choice for me."

This time he kissed me, and there was more than just a physical response. I felt real excitement bubbling up inside of me, thinking of the time we could have, a thousand more days like this, a thousand more kisses like this. I gulped the smell of his breath, savoured his taste. I had my own walking, talking, loving copy of Perfection, and this time I wasn't going to let it get away.

"So does this mean you're staying?" I asked, just to be sure, "For good, I mean?"

The look he gave me was so amazed, I had to laugh. I tried to hold it back, but it soon became a chortle, then a giggle, then morphed into full-blown hysterics. Edward continued to stare at me with wonder as I laughed like that, convulsively, at the top of my lungs. I just couldn't seem to stop. I collapsed on the bed, gasping for breath, fighting my insuperable mirth. It was several minutes before I could gain control of myself.

In one of his blurry quicksilver vampire-movements, Edward was on the bed next to me. The speed with which he moved felt natural to me, more comfortable than the lead-footed movements of my human peers.

He looked worried.

"I'm sorry," I said, working to choke back another round of hysteria, "I seem to have gone a bit insane."

"This is exactly what I was afraid of," Edward muttered. I obviously was not meant to hear that. That was okay with me; I lay back on the pillow, enjoying the sound of his voice.

"Well," I said reasonably, "You can't exactly leave me alone for several months, after turning my life inside out, and expect me to be the same when you come back." There was no anger in my voice; there would be time for anger later, if I was so inclined. Besides, I didn't want to scare him away when he'd only been here for a few short minutes.

He winced. I wanted to comfort him. I wanted to reach out and rub the pain away from his face. 

"You weren't alone," he said softly.

"I was more alone without you than I would have been if everyone else on Earth disappeared. You have can have no concept of how I felt when you were gone. No concept of what I went through."

He looked positively wretched now. That hadn't been my intention; he was far too hard on himself. "If I really do live until the end of time, I will never, ever forgive myself for what I did to you. But…I'm wondering…can _you_ forgive me?" The look on his face was so earnest, so sincere, and so tentative that it almost started me giggling again. How could Edward, an invulnerable, immortal being of nearly one hundred and ten years, set so much store by the words of an eighteen-year-old girl? It was really quite ridiculous. I phrased my answer very carefully.

"My mind will forgive you in a few days, but the rest of me already _has_ forgiven you," I said truthfully.

"Much more than I deserve," he muttered, and buried his face in my hair again. I said nothing. I was concentrating on the feeling of this embrace, the casual normalcy of it conflicting with the enormous importance of the occasion. It was obvious that, though Edward and I had both changed during our time apart, we would fall back into the routine of our love as naturally as breathing.

Finally, Edward broke the silence.

"So…what have you been up to the last eight months?" As if he didn't know. But with this line came the return of his mischievous crooked grin, stealing my breath and my coherence.

"I-I nothing," I stuttered, "You what do?"

Edward stared at me. He seemed troubled by how flustered I was. I wished I could explain to him why my brain wasn't working. Maybe I was going into shock…

"I mean, I want to hear about you," I clarified, sitting up. 

"What do you want to hear?" he asked tentatively.

"Er…what did you do while you were…away?" I asked him, nervous now. His expression darkened, and a shadow seemed to pass over his face.

"I tried my hand at tracking," he said tightly. 

"Who did you…?" I started. Then, I realized. "Oh." I waited for my suspicions to be confirmed.

"Yes," he said, "Victoria. I was close for a while, but eventually I followed a false trail to Brazil. I'm not a very good tracker, I'm afraid…it was purely by luck that I caught up with her in Panama."

"You caught up with her?" I asked faintly.

He nodded grimly. "I quickly realized I was moving in the wrong direction. Evidently she believed I'd be down there a bit longer…it was her plan, I believe, to go somewhere in South America, since that's the last place I'd expect her to be—where I thought she was. By pure chance, I caught traces of her scent in the forests of Panama… she died somewhere along the Canal. You're safe now. Or at least you were, until I came back."

I was silent for a moment. "So you…I mean, you…you know…" I was struggling with the concept—"killed her?"

He nodded again, his eyes fearful.

"Well then," I sighed, "that's a relief." He gave me a questioning look. "I mean, that there's…no more danger." 

"Bella," said Edward seriously, "as long as I'm around you, you'll never be safe." I glared at him.

"Maybe," I said irritably, "but as long as you're gone I'll never be alive. You think you're a threat to me, but you're the only thing that keeps me human. I can't survive without you." There was a silence as the words sank in. This was the first time I could ever remember Edward being at a loss for words.

"So…Victoria," I said, letting my curiosity get the better of me, "what was she thinking?"

"I don't think it's a good idea for you to hear this," said Edward firmly. I just looked at him. "Mostly she focused on your destruction, almost up until the last." I shivered. "But do you know," he mused softly, "that was what led me back here. Victoria's very last thought. She realized she was about to die, you know. At the last second I heard her think, _James_—it was as if, right then, we shared the same mind. I could see why she had hunted you…I could understand how she'd felt about James—the same way I feel about you. And I realized she'd lost her mind completely. And it was that—her last thought—that told me I couldn't stay away from you."

Another silence.

"But there's one thing I don't understand," I whispered. "Why did she come back down? Why did she hide? Why didn't she…kill me…while she had the chance?"

"I think it was part of her plan," he said, "I believe she was planning to—" he broke off guiltily, as if he'd said more than he should have.

"Planning to what?"

"—take extreme measures," he finished lamely.

"Oh," I said, letting it go for now. I was sure he'd explain it to me in due time. I'd _make_ sure of it. "So…her last thought made you realize…?"

"That I couldn't survive without you. That I would lose my mind, too. That in losing you I lost myself. And then I started to wonder if you felt the same way. I couldn't bear the thought of having hurt you as badly as I hurt myself. So I came back."

"So you're done martyring yourself?" I asked irritably. I couldn't suppress the anger any longer. "Did you ever think about my feelings?" He looked stunned. "Did you ever think," I asked him, "that maybe the change you'd made in my life was irreversible? That I wasn't going to do any better without you than you were without me? That you mattered to me more than my own health? To die would have been one thing, but this…this was…much worse…" I was crying now, for the first time in months. I pulled myself up against Edward's chest and just sobbed, feeling his cold skin against my cheek. It felt good to cry—like my soul was cleansing itself. I curled, I convulsed, I felt alive. It was pathetic, but my tears brought me some sort of strange relief.

Edward just held me, whispering my name over and over. I reached out all my senses, trying to feel him in every possible way. It was the best feeling in the world—the return of my self.

It was just like that, listening to Edward's voice, my soul curled up inside of his, that I slept soundly for the first time in months.

A/N: If I get 20 reviews, I will post the amazingly hilarious bonus chapter written by my hella'mazing friend o0AliceCullen0o. R&R plz?


	3. Discussion

Chapter Three: Discussion

_I was running, the trees blurring around me. The air was so fast around my ears that I couldn't hear a thing. It was dark, and the raindrops glistened on the leaves like pure liquid malice. The air was cold, but I couldn't feel it burning in my lungs. I was leaden with fear, but no heart beat angrily in my chest._

_I kept running, running forward, running away. I knew that if I just got around the bend, there would be something there, someone who would protect me, keep me safe, chase away the fearful shadow I was running from. Sure enough, Edward stepped out of the darkness, softly illuminating the foliage around him. He caught me in his iron arms, but his strength didn't feel as irresistible as usual._

_"Shh," he whispered to me, "It's all right, Bella. You'll be fine. I won't let anything hurt you."_

_"Promise you won't let go," I said, fearful still._

_"I'll never let you go," he replied._

_Then his muscles went rigid. A shape emerged out of the gloom in the direction I'd been running from. A wolf appeared, but it was no ordinary canine—enormous and shaggy, it had a predatory-looking muzzle and red eyes with a feral gleam._

_Edward straightened up, snarling defensively. His arms loosened and I was falling, falling, falling…_

_Now I was in a bright white closet, scanning a rack of clothes. I chose a dark blue blouse—the only item I recognized—and slid it on. My body was unfamiliar; I was slightly taller, my stomach flatter…I finished dressing and looked at my hands. They were pale, almost as pale as the colorless carpet, but soft and papery…I looked up at my reflection in the full-length mirror. I saw my feet, crinkled and squished into gold heels…my legs, covered in jeans…my neck, slightly yellowed…finally I reached my face. My lips were puckered, my skin sagging around my angular features, my honey-colored eyes staring back at me in desperation. I reached up, felt my loose skin, tore at it, hoping it was a mask, something I could take off to see my true face, but no matter how hard I pulled, the mask of age stayed. I screamed and screamed, clawed at my cheeks, but nothing changed…_

_Edward's face swam before me. "You'll always be seventeen to me, love," he said, before his eyes flashed red and he faded away._

I sat up in bed, breathing hard. My throat was sore, as if I had just been screaming.

Edward looked worried.

"Are you okay, love?" he murmered, stroking my hair cautiously.

"Yeah," I said faintly. My voice was hoarse. "The…the nightmares…I thought they were gone. I thought they weren't coming back." He nestled me in his arms, rocking slightly. It was unspeakably comforting.

"I'm sorry, love," he said, and I couldn't tell if he was apologizing for my nightmares, or for leaving me, or for the latter causing the former. It didn't matter to me; I let his calming presence fill the long silence. Everything, every touch, every feeling, felt completely new to me.

"I just don't understand," I muttered, "I thought the nightmares came because you were gone. Why should they come back when you do?"

"Dreams are manifestations of the subconscious mind. The more brain activity, the more likely you are to dream, especially if it's too much for you to handle while you're awake. You've had a lot to think about in the last few hours, love. It's nothing to be ashamed of." Still, his face was troubled. After all this time, did he still think he could fool me?

"Yeah," I said simply. I was always at a loss for words around him—time hadn't changed that either. I wondered if we would be able to keep our tradition of carefully selective openness. I hoped we would be able to share more with each other now; I didn't want a single part of me disconnected from him in any way.

"What is it?" he asked, observing my speculative expression.

"I was just thinking," I replied, using my default response, "how is it you know everything?"

"I don't," he said, sounding surprised, "I've made some of the worst choices possible. First I let you in, putting your life in danger. Then I left, putting your mind in danger. I could have a thousand masters degrees, and there would still be so much for me to learn."

I tried to glare at him, but was overcome at seeing his glorious face again. "You know what I mean," I muttered lamely.

"Oh, the dream thing?" he chuckled slightly, though his face was still dark. "I studied Freud when he was just getting started."

"Really?" It was funny, how the little things like this always seemed to catch me off guard.

"Yes." He smiled enigmatically. I caught my breath. "You can see, I suppose, why psychology would interest me." His crooked grin returned, and my head spun. His beauty seemed even more surreal after our time apart. No subconscious manifestation could possibly do him justice.

"Oh." I lay back, breathing. His scent was everywhere. I could feel Edward staring at me.

"You're different," he said.

"Yes." What else was I supposed to say? But I was saved from having to elaborate, for Edward's posture had suddenly become alert. This familiar action set my heart racing, and I began to feel like I was drowning. I gasped for breath, and Edward panicked.

"Bella?" he was already by my side, of course. "Bella? Are you okay?"

"What's—what's the matter?" I gasped.

"It's just Charlie," he reassured me. I breathed again.

"Oh. Charlie." I could have laughed out loud.

"I'm going to have to hide," Edward said to me, "but I'll be right here the whole time, okay? I won't leave you for a second." It felt nice to be reassured, before I even had to ask. Maybe Edward had learned a little something in our time apart.

"Okay," I whispered. My voice was thin, like a child's. I was irked by my own vulnerability. Edward melted into the shadows, and I felt like I was hanging on to a ledge I couldn't see.

Charlie entered the room, and I realized I had no idea how to act right now. I tried to dull myself, but it was difficult when I felt so very alive.

"Is everything alright, Bells?" he asked, his face assuming the mask of fatherly concern that it always wore when he was around me. It hadn't been that way before, I realized.

"Mmm-hmm. Why?" I tried to look robotic and innocent at the same time. I wondered if this could possibly be fooling him; surely I must be radiating waves of contentment?

"You were screaming your head off a minute ago."

"Oh," I replied. I couldn't think of anything else to say. I remembered something Edward had said to me once: _You're a terrible actress. I'd say that career path is definitely out for you_. Thinking of him almost brought back the pain, but this involuntary reaction was replaced by giddiness when I remembered that he wasn't gone; he was here, in this very room. I tried to betray none of these emotions to Charlie, who looked apprehensive.

"Bells?" he asked tentatively, "can I come in?" I nodded half-heartedly, trying to be the same person I had been yesterday. It was getting more difficult by the minute.

Charlie stepped through the threshold and, still nervous, sat on the edge of my bed. Then, in an unusual gesture, he lay his arm lightly around my shoulders. He was more muscular than he looked—all that fishing. He smelled clean, and his presence was warm and sturdy. I realized that this was one of the first times I'd thought of Charlie as a proper father.

"Bells," he began again, "as much as I want to stop it, I know you're in pain. And as much as I hate to admit it, I know the reason. I've been doing my very best to help, but—but I'm pretty sure all that was just wishful thinking on my part. I've given up trying to force you to change. Now I'm just going to…try to understand. So, if there's…anything you need to talk about, or anything, you…you know I'm always here for you." He looked so awkward, so concerned, _I_ wanted to comfort _him_. I leaned into his one-armed hug.

"Thanks, Dad," I said simply, "I'll think about it." He sighed, stood up, and looked me over once more.

"Alright," he said, "Billy invited me to go fishing today, but I can cancel if you need me here…"

"It's okay, Dad. I have laundry to do, stuff like that," I lied vaguely. My imagination had already raced ahead of me, focusing on the moment when Charlie would leave, when Edward would be in sight again…

"'Kay. Well…you should go back to bed, Bells. It's four-thirty in the morning." I was surprised to realize it was still dark outside—the momentousness of recent events had wiped out my sense of time. I felt guilty for having woken Charlie up.

"Okay," I said, crawling back under the covers, "have fun fishing." Charlie left the room, and Edward was at my side instantaneously.

"Ssssh," he said. As if I'd been planning to speak, when all I wanted to do was revel in the smooth coolness of his arms.

A long moment passed. I thought about the bursting, buzzing feelings his return had brought. _Human again_, I thought, _like in_ Beauty and the Beast. _How silly_…

"Alice!" I said suddenly, sitting up. Edward looked around in alarm. "No," I explained, "she's not here. I was just thinking about Disney movies, and then I thought about Alice." He looked at me that same way again, as if he'd never seen me before.

"That's nice," he finally said.

"What is?" I snapped, irritated.

"You explaining your thought process to me like that," he said simply. "I like it." I smiled. Even the tiniest bit of praise from him practically set me glowing. I knew it was pathetic, but I just couldn't seem to gather up the energy to care.

"But my question was," I persisted, "did the rest of your family come back, too? Or was it just you? And were they with you when you met Victoria? What have they been doing?"

"They weren't with me," Edward replied, another shadow flitting across his face. "they moved back to Denali for a while, to stay with Tanya's family. Then, just a few months ago, when they…finally accepted that I wasn't going to change my mind—" he grimaced an apology—"they decided to settle in Maine. They've already bought a house…"

"So they're…are they in Maine now?" My throat was dry.

"No," he said, looking surprised, "they were going to move there over the summer. So Alice could pretend to enter the school as a freshman. But…they're no longer planning to go, I don't think. But they're keeping the house just in case." I noticed he wasn't as eloquent as usual. I wondered if he'd thought through this plan at all. In some ways, I guessed, he'd been thinking about it the whole time…but in other ways, he was woefully unprepared. I was struck by the realization that he'd been just as lost as I had.

"So they're…moving back? Or…what's going to happen?"

"I don't know," Edward admitted. "I…guess I never really considered that; all I could really focus on was how much I needed you. See, since all of us are supposed to have graduated from high school by now, there'd really be…no reason to move back…" I gasped. I could feel the hole opening again, the edges piercing and sharp, clearly framing the black chasm of utter hopelessness…

"Bella? Bella? Are you alright?" I couldn't gather up my answer; all the pieces of it seemed lost in the gaping emptiness threatening to consume me.

"Bella, it's alright. It's okay. I'm not going to leave you again. Ever." At those magical words, the darkness disappeared. I opened my eyes and was suddenly aware of the sweet face in front of me, the cold arms encompassing me.

He rocked me back and forth again, making comforting noises. It was strange—despite all his care before, he seemed to handle me even more delicately now. I felt more secure at this moment than I ever had before.

"We'll figure something out, love. Some way to visit them…when we go off to college, we can split the time, come here for some breaks, go there for others…we'll see them, I promise. Alice misses you quite a bit. And Emmett—he liked having a human around."

"When we go to college?" I asked, dubious.

"That's what you want, isn't it? I mean—you want me to come with you, right? That wouldn't be…strange for you, would it? I can stay out of sight if you like…"

"Edward." I sat up now, separating myself from him so I could look him in the eye. "Don't be ridiculous. Of course I want you with me. I will always want you with me, and never in a hundred million years would I hide you away. What on Earth gave you that idea, anyway?"

"I just…thought…I don't know. I know better than to try to guess what you want now, but at least I can anticipate it, be ready to comply with whatever you decide…"

"Whatever _we_ decide, Edward. From now on we make all of our decisions together. Too much pain has come out of our constant guessing, our attempts to read each others' minds." I smiled. He grinned crookedly back.

"Together. Sounds like something I can live with."

"Good," I said, snuggling back into his arms, "because I'm not going anywhere." We stayed like that for another long, exquisite moment, then I shattered the silence. "Seriously, though—college? How are we going to work that one out?"

"Well, generally, one applies, gets accepted, pays tuition, moves into the dorms—"  
"Edward, have you ever heard of a rhetorical question? I'm simply wondering, because you seem to be under the impression that you must answer every single thing anybody asks of you."

"Rhetorical questions? Yes, I believe I've heard of those before." We looked at each other for a moment. The banter seemed thin, the jokes not as satisfying as usual. Probably because we could both see through them into the far more serious matter hiding beneath the shroud of light conversation.

"I mean…Won't I be…I mean, I'll be in no condition, will I?" I studied the thin quilt on my bed, picking at a loose white thread.

"No condition? What do you mean?" His tone was so sharp with concern, I looked up in alarm. His eyes were earnest and confused.

"I mean…" my voice was dwindling to a whisper. "You _have_ thought about the…other issue, haven't you?"

"The other issue?" He sounded wary now.

"I mean, when you…change me. Have you really thought about it? The timing, where we're going to go, what we're going to do afterwards?" His faced changed; Worry, conflict, anger, frustration and longing competed for prevalence in his expression.

"Bella, you…I…do you really still want that? After all I've put you through, after seeing what…something like me is capable of, you still want to become…_this_?" He seemed genuinely surprised. I was, too. I'd expected that that was what this all meant; he'd come back because he'd changed his mind. Why else would he? Besides me, what was there for him in Forks? He couldn't come back here if he didn't expect to take me with him, could he?

"Of course I want that! Of course I want to be your equal, of course I want an eternity with you! Who wouldn't want that? To spend a minute in your arms and know that I have the option to stay that way forever? Never to have to count the moments, never to wonder how many I have left, never to have to let you go? I can't think of anything better." Edward was silent for a moment, thinking over what I had said. His expression was one I wasn't used to seeing; it was softer, gentler even than the expression he usually wore when he looked at me. He looked…_touched_. I was astounded to know I could affect him that way. Edward never failed to surprise me.

"Of course I see the beauty in that too," he finally agreed, "but I don't know if I can…do this to you. For my own purposes, there's nothing I want more than to have you forever. But still…I can't destroy you like that, Bella. You have everything—you have a future, you have a soul. You have humanity on your side. All I have ahead of me is decades of emptiness. Is that really something you want to share with me?"

"We could fill them," I answered simply.

Silence. The moments felt brittle, glistening, too good to be true. Like they could all be taken away within the space of another moment.

"Bella, it's your _soul_," he finally burst out. "The essence of your being. I can't take that away from you."

"I don't believe you would be. I don't believe anybody could be as wonderful as you are without a soul. And even if that was what happened," I continued, taking his hand, "I'd gladly trade my soul for you. I'd do it in a moment. After all, what joy could heaven hold for me if you weren't there to share it? It's a simple choice, really: An eternity with you or an eternity without you. The answer is obvious."

"I don't know…" he looked anguished.

"Well, we don't have to know right this second. But we will have to make a decision, and soon."

"True."

"But there is one slightly more urgent matter."

"There is?" he looked surprised again. I was so unused to seeing that expression on his face.

"Yes. Why does Charlie think you're here?"

………………………………………………………………………………………….

_Oooh…suspense! Tell me what you think. Was that last bit a little too abrupt? Was Edward OOC? I'm thinking about rewriting this chapter…anyway, opinions would be appreciated!_


	4. THE BONUS CHAPTER!

-BONUS CHAPTER AUTHOR'S NOTE—DO NOT SKIP!!-

_Woo! Alright, everybody! 20 reviews…you know what that means!_

_Yesiree, it's time for the…BONUS CHAPTER!!_

_This was written when I was halfway finished with chapter two. My friend oO-Alice-Cullen-Oo was reading what I had written so far, and when she got to the stopping point, she decided to interecede. Hilarity ensued. _

_If you've already read this chapter (and I certainly hope you have), you can skip down to where her part starts. You might want to read the line before it, though._

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………_._

I held on to him for a long time, letting his cold touch bring the feeling tingling back into my limbs, feeling his sweet breath banish the numbness.

After a few moments, some of my reality came rushing back. I removed myself from him, my breathing still ragged from the exhaustive emotion of the reunion. I explored my misty mind for the right words. However, those words were doing a very good job of concealing themselves behind my newly rediscovered thoughts.

"Erm…why…why are you here?" I asked. I seemed unable to regain my breath.

Despite his previously befuddled expression, he…_Edward_…answered steadily enough, not even taking the time to think about it. "I'm here because I couldn't stay away," he answered. "I couldn't survive without you. I didn't have the courage. I'm here because I couldn't focus on anything but you, couldn't shut down for one second, couldn't let you go. Because I love you. Because my love for you occupies the very core of my being. Because I am a monstrous creature who is unable to control his selfish desires. Because you were written into my every thought, and I couldn't remove you. Because if I were human, I could have died for love of you. Because love isn't a strong enough word. Because I just said all of that without even bothering to check if you wanted to hear it…" his voice trailed off as his pain smothered it.

My heart was a battering ram against my fortified rib cage, beating with the strength of a hundred men. I could barely breathe. I looked at him with amazement. For the second time, I was unable to find the words to answer him. My answering comment was hideously, idiotically moronic…

"Pinch me," I said flatly. I cursed myself. Couldn't I even find breath for an "I love you, too"? Couldn't I confess what being without him had done to me? How I wanted him with me forever, never to leave me for one moment? No. All I could manage were two stupid, blasé words. He backed away a little bit, clearly trying to conceal the pain in his eyes.

"I could never hurt you again, Bella," he whispered. At the agony in his voice, speech suddenly came back to me.

"What are you doing, backing away like that? I've been holding my breath for months, waiting for you. You can't take away my air again. I might suffocate." I stood up again, impressed with my borderline-poetic words, and crossed the distance between us again. Now that my feelings had returned, there was room for more passion in our embrace. When I held him I could feel myself burning, melting against the ice of his chest. At that moment, I realized something. All these months I'd been secretly afraid that I'd lost my ability to express emotion; I'd feared that I might have lost even this, the most important part of my existence, my love for Edward. Now I realized that I'd never stop loving him. That there was no way in Hell I would ever let anyone—even Edward himself—tear us apart again. I braided my fingers into his hair, forgetting to be careful, and felt a flame consume me. I pulled myself up toward his face.

In the moment that our lips met, Edward erased the universe. He was the only thing in my world, the only thing there was room for. How _could_ there be space for anything besides his immeasurable beauty? Edward's name filled my thoughts, my senses engulfed by the feel of his hair, the smell of his skin, the unbearably delicious taste of his lips…

It was just like Edward to pull away. Just like him to tighten the line of his jaw and put out the fire in his eyes. His eyes stayed soft, though, and his gaze held only love and adoration, no hint of disgust or uncertainty or rejection of any kind. I shuddered to remember his words that night, the words that had haunted me, the words that brought a question boiling to my lips now.

"What happened to 'I don't love you'?" I asked him, my voice quiet and tentative. I really didn't want to discuss this, but there was so much doubt left over, so much shrapnel from when he dropped that bomb…I just had to know.

He winced, the pain coming back to his eyes.

"That was never true, Bella. How could I stop loving you? How could you ever doubt my love for you? It was inconceivably hard to say those words…and even harder to see that you believed every one of them. How could you believe the lie and not the truth? Do you really think so little of me?"

"I never deserved your love to begin with. It was easy to believe what I'd been telling myself the entire time. That you didn't love me, that you couldn't love me. It's not doubt when you never believed it at all." Edward looked at me incredulously.

"Isabella Swan," he said simply, "that is the most foolish excuse I've ever heard. I could never let you go. There is nothing so incredibly important as you…nothing so incredibly beautiful. I don't know how you could doubt that for one second…"

"Why'd you leave, then?" I asked bitterly, almost harshly, and felt him stiffen in my arms. It took him a moment to gather his thoughts.

"Well, that's exactly it…you are the center of my universe, and I wanted to protect you. I thought I was strong enough to protect you. I thought, maybe, if I could remove myself from your life completely, could make you forget…that you might be able to lead a human life, away from danger, away from…I thought that maybe you could just be you. I want the best for you, Bella…and I am the worst possible choice for you.

"THAT'S CRAP!" the fangirls all shrieked in unison. "IT'S MORE THAN CRAP! IT'S CRAPPY CRAP! IT'S ABSURD CRAPPY CRAP FULL OF CRAP!"

Edward glanced up at the enormous mob, his eyes smoldering unfairly.

"Would you mind leaving us alone?" he asked politely, yet sexily in that way that only he could pull off. Every fangirl in the room passed out at the sight of this except for one in the front named Annie. Jasper walked in the room and swept her off her feet to the bright yellow Porsche 911 Turbo that was waiting in the driveway.

Edward turned back to face Bella. "Now, where was I?"

"At the part where you're all self-hating and emo and telling me how you're no good for me."

"Oh yes, thank you."

"No problem."

As soon as Edward opened his mouth to speak again, he heard someone breathing erratically behind him. He turned to see the other leader of the Team Edward Vampire Mafia, Eve, hovering near his left shoulder blade.

"Hi Edward!" she said rather loudly. She stood there with a creepy smile plastered to her face.

"Hello…?"

"So, why _are_ you so emo, Edward? I mean not that we don't all find it incredibly sexy and gorgeous and god-like and pretty much everything else Bella's ever said about you and your gorgeously over-used liquid-topaz-butterscotch-golden-amber-peanut butter colored eyes. And did I mention that…" She ranted on for a little while longer while a loud **CRASH!** Could be heard coming from the front lawn, followed by a loud, "IT'S NOT MY FAULT!" which everyone could only assume came from Annie after she had crashed her beloved Porsche.

While Jasper called Emmett for some help with straightening out the Porsche pretzel, and Alice to take Annie to do some insane no limit pity shopping, Bella stared at Eve for a moment.

"You know, that's a really good question! Why are you so emo, Edward? At least Jasper has a good reason with all the emo kids running around the emo school in this emo little town and the emo werewolves emoting all that emo how can he not be absorbing all that emo floating in the air? What's your excuse?"

The two girls stood there with their arms crossed, awaiting an answer.

"Oh, well I erm…" before he could finish that "thought," his cell phone went off. He picked it up and before he could say anything, Alice and Annie could be heard on the other end yelling in unison.

"SERIOUSLY EDWARD, WHY IS THAT? I MEAN OUR POOR JASPER'S REALLY THE ONE WHO'S GOT IT HARD! ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS STAND THERE WHILE BELLA FAWNS OVER YOU! JASPER GETS BLAMED FOR EVERYTHING! GIVE THE GUY A BREAK!" The dial tone sounded and Edward blinked as he hung up the phone.

Eve and Bella gave him another expecting look. However, as soon as he opened his mouth again, the phone rang again. He picked it up, annoyed.

"What?" he demanded.

"Edward, my best buddy! Hey, I need your help with this puzzle."

"Not now, Emm—"

"Great! Okay, so I need a seven-letter word for a mythical creature. The first letter is v, the fourth is p, and the last is e. Any suggestions?"

Edward looked at the small silver phone in disbelief and promptly threw it out the window.

Meanwhile, back at the Cullen residence

"Edward? Eddie? Damn! I hate crosswords!"


	5. Decision

Chapter Four

**Chapter Four: Decision**

"What do you mean?" Edward asked me.

"I mean, what are we going to tell him—about why you're back? We can't exactly hide it from him, can we? There's no way I'm staying away from you long enough for that." Edward smiled at my open admittance of codependency.

"Well…I thought I'd just tell him the truth." He must have seen the startled look on my face, because he added, "Or at least a part of it. That I just couldn't stay away from you."

"Oh," I said, "is that it?" Charlie's not exactly astute, but it would still take a lot more than that flimsy story to fool him.

"You haven't heard the second part of my plan," Edward answered.

"Which is?"

"Grovel." I never thought I'd hear Edward say that word. Then again, Edward's new, seemingly changed self was surprising me a mile a minute.

"You? Charlie?" If the matter wasn't so grave, I would've been choking on my laughter.

"Absolutely." He looked so deadly serious that my amusement flickered and died in an instant. "Bella," he began, "if there is one thing that—that the last few months have taught me, it's that your presence is vital to me. I would sacrifice anything—my dignity included—to avoid losing that again. You," he added, smirking wistfully, "are my lifeblood."

I'd heard him speak this way before, of course, but this was…different somehow. His words seemed to carry more resonance, more importance. More permanence, maybe. These words, loaded with meaning, sent thrills up my spine and chills down my back. Edward was the same in so many ways, but something about him seemed fundamentally altered. What was it he'd once said? _We're like stone—once we've made up our minds, we hardly ever change. _Something like that. To think that I had that power—to affect something so eternal, so quickly.

"Besides," Edward added, "It's a crap shoot anyway. The best I can hope for is Charlie not attempting to stab me and exposing us all." The smirk grew playful. Oh yes, Edward was definitely in there somewhere.

"You've got a point there," I muttered.

There was silence. Edward observed my face carefully. I was surprised at how much I'd missed that—his expression, a curious mixture of frustration and affection, as he attempted once again to divine my thought process.

"So," he said finally, "I suppose we need to decide on a story."

"Story?"

"To tell Charlie."

"Oh." I was puzzled. "I thought we'd already decided that you were going to tell him the truth?"

"Yes…but he'll want to know everything. Where we plan to go from here."

I frowned. "That's true…" I posed my next question tentatively, still absurdly afraid of the answer. "Where _do_ we plan to go?"

Edward let a long silence elapse before he spoke again. "I don't know."

"Would we go to Maine? Move in with Tanya and her family? Or go to some other secluded place? Where would be the safest place?"

"Bella…" Edward hesitated yet again. It was as if he was being careful with his words, now, as well as his actions. "Bella, do you really want to do this?" he knew what I was getting at, then. "Think about it—the eternal thirst you would feel, a thirst that could never be fully satiated. The loss of your soul. The lonesome stretch of forever, filled with incessant monotony. No foreseeable end. Is this really, truly what you want? You would sacrifice your happiness—your normalcy—your life and your humanity—just to be with me?" He looked doubtful, like he'd done a better job of convincing himself than he had me.

"Edward," I said clearly, "you are my happiness. You are my normalcy. You are my life and my humanity. You saw how I was before—surely you can't doubt that I need you? Without you, I can exist, but I cannot live. Even if what you say really is true—even if spending eternity with you would mean losing my soul—it's of no importance. I can function without my soul, but my soul cannot function without you. Edward," I implored, "please do not condemn me to an eternity of half-life; without you, even heaven would become Hell."

"_Dammit_, Bella!" Edward complained. I almost laughed at the familiarity of the expression, but then I saw that he had, in a very uncharacteristic gesture, his face in his hands. His back arched forlornly, and his almost metallic-looking bronze hair glowed in contrast to his pallid neck. I realized what this was—some new way of expressing worry, a way that acknowledged the truth of the matter, forgoing his usual rigid stubbornness. It was almost like he was giving up.

Finally, almost inaudibly, he whispered, "yes."

"What?" I sputtered, surprised.

"Yes, I will…_change_ you. Yes, I will take away your soul. Yes, I will damn you to an eternal struggle. Because it's either that, or hurt you again…and that is something that I simply cannot do."

Strangely enough, no giddiness washed through me. I felt no particular joy, just a profound sense of relief. Ridiculously, I felt more concerned for him—for the difficulty of his choice.

"Thank you," I muttered simply, pulling him into me. I wrapped my arms around him and curled into his lap, leaning my head against his shoulder. His blue thermal shirt was still slightly damp with my tears from earlier, but the fabric was soft and it felt nice. I inhaled his scent deeply, feeling drugged by the sweet perfume.

"I wonder," I mused.

"Yes?" Edward responded. Cautious. I could tell he didn't want to think too much about his decision.

"When I'm…a vampire," I smiled at the thought, while Edward cringed at the word, "will you still smell like this?"

He looked at me. "Yes…"

"What I mean is, will you still smell like this to me?" I wasn't going to let this go—it seemed somehow important now.

"Yes and no," he answered, grudgingly honest. He was going to have to get used to that. "I'll still have the same scent…but it won't be quite the same to you. This scent isn't meant to attract other vampires…only our prey." He looked at me to gauge my reaction.

"So then," I reflected, "it'll still be the most beautiful scent in the world, just not so impossibly alluring."

He laughed. "Sounds about right." He sat still then, and I curled up, resting against him. I closed my eyes, breathing in his heady aroma and listening to his measured breath. My blood wasn't quite racing, but in bubbled in my veins, just on the precipice of boiling. My muscles weren't quite tense with excitement, but they quivered, at the ready. I felt how I always felt around Edward—halfway between at ease and on edge, between strangely displaced and perfectly at home.

I contemplated my victory for a while. It was an exhilarating thought—to be beautiful, unbreakable, immortal, and eternally in love. A choice anyone would take…

My mind wandered along this track for a long while. Finally, I was brought back to reality (or my dreamlike version of it) by the sound of the front door slamming.

Edward started upright when I did.

"Charlie?" I asked.

He nodded in confirmation. A car door slammed, an engine revved, and Charlie was gone. There was another one of those silences. Neither of us mentioned what we were feeling, because there simply weren't adequate words. Both of us were surprised when I suddenly spoke.

"Maine," I said. That single word hovered in the abnormally still air for a moment, before Edward replied, "Yes."

"I think we should go there," I informed him.

"Bella…" some of that exasperated tone I was so accustomed to crept into Edward's voice. "Bella, maybe you don't fully understand what's involved in this…process. Newborn vampires…well, they're _animals_. It takes years to gain enough self-control to be around humans on a regular basis." I reflected on that for a moment.

"Well," I reasoned, "we wouldn't have to live in town with your family. Would there be anywhere more…secluded nearby?" Edward sighed.

"Probably," he gave.

"Why don't we go there, then?" I reasoned. "We could be near yo—_our_ family," he smiled slightly at my self-edit, "and I wouldn't be…dangerous to anyone."

"Bella," Edward's voice was sharp, "no matter where you go, you'll always be dangerous to someone. That's what I've been trying to tell you. Can you possibly fathom that there might be more than everlasting joy in the equation?" He was now ranging toward the bitterly sarcastic.

"Yes," I replied, equally sardonic, "it did occur to me that I might face some difficulties in becoming a vampire." Abruptly, the tense mood stretched to its limit and snapped. "Edward," I said softly, "I'm not going to change my mind. I know the risks. I just know it's worth it."

"Do you, Bella? Do you truly, honestly think you know what you're in for?"

"No," I informed him honestly, "but even if I did—even if I had every single gory detail memorized—it would not change my decision. Without you, the best I can hope for is, literally, nothing."

"Bella…"

"I think Maine makes sense," I interrupted, determined to keep the mood light. I would not let Edward guilt me out of my triumph. "Think about it…we could find somewhere isolated there, somewhere where you could keep me from hurting anyone. I'm sure there's plenty of wildlife around…" I cringed. The whole eating-raw-wild-animals thing was, admittedly, not something I looked forward to. "And," I continued, "we'll be close enough that your family can visit."

Edward was silent.

"Come on," I prodded, "you have to admit it makes sense."

"It does," he agreed grudgingly.

"And we could make up a good story to go with it…a little college or something along those lines. Just to appease Charlie and Renee."

"Incidentally," Edward asked, suspiciously cheerful, "_have_ you applied to any colleges?"

I considered for a moment. "You know," I whispered, "I honestly don't remember." Edward's face turned bleak.

"Regardless," I said, still quiet, "we can tell Charlie that."

Edward nodded. He looked so guilty—I felt an acute agony at causing his pain. I knew it wasn't my fault, but deep down, on a level below reason, I blamed myself. I was going to have to work on that.

"So where do we go from here?" It was a legitimate question—Edward's return really was very poorly planned.

"I was thinking Denali," Edward replied, "then we'll go with the family to Maine, and then…well, you know the rest." It looked like it hurt him to think about it. For that I was sorry—but not sorry enough to change my mind.

"That's reasonable," I agreed. "And I was thinking…the sooner the better." Edward looked up at me. "I mean, the sooner we go…"

"Bella," Edward asked yet again, "are you really sure about this? After all, I've only been here a few hours, and it's been a very emotional night…how do you know you won't wake up tomorrow morning and hate me for what I've done?" He was so sincere, I had to shake my head in disbelief.

"I've had plenty of time to hate you, Edward…but the thought never crossed my mind. I could never hate you. I even have a hard time being angry with you." I looked into his rich golden eyes, and felt myself boil over. I leaned toward him.

This kiss was softer, sweeter than the last. Of course, kissing Edward could never be a gentle thing for me, not with my heart reacting so violently. On the surface it was gentle, but my system raged, greedy and perpetually dissatisfied.

I was the one who broke away this time. Loath as I was to separate myself from him, there was something I felt the overwhelming need to say.

"I love you," I informed him, tasting his exquisite breath on my tongue. Even the air was sweeter with Edward near.

It took him a moment to slow his breathing, to tame the amber fire in his eyes. When he was finally back to himself, he whispered, "I know."

We enjoyed another moment of perfect calm. It felt like there was a bubble of happiness around us, one that would burst if either of us moved a centimeter.

"I think…there's something I need to do," I said, shattering the peace.

"What's that?" Cautiously.

"I think it would…help me if I could see your old house. Just one last time." It was and idea I'd been turning over in my head before the numbness took over completely. I'd thought it might bring me closer to him—but now I realized that seeing the place would bring me the closure I needed. Saying goodbye to the place that had once connected the two sides of my double life would be the perfect way of letting go.

"Alright," Edward replied. He sounded reserved, maybe slightly puzzled, but willing enough.

"Would now be a good time?"

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_I'm so excited to see what happens! I might have to start the next chapter immediately…_

_M'good friend Alice has begun work on another bonus chapter…50 reviews and it's yours for the reading! And let me tell you, this one's going to be good…_

Also, if you're a Harry Potter fan, I'd be much obliged if you'd take a look at my new oneshot, "The Only Thing She Ever Feared." Muchas gracias!


	6. Left

Chapter Five

**Chapter Five: Left**

As we wound our way through the too-familiar tunnel of trees, I began to seriously doubt my own judgment.

It was definitely a bad idea, coming here. What could possibly have led me to believe that Edward's presence would make it easier?

Well, Edward's presence made everything easier. But that was beside the point. I could already feel the tears stinging my eyes as the Cullens' former residence came into view.

The house was the same in many ways; still white, still three stories tall, still a hundred years old. The stream still tumbled musically in the background, and the lawn was still dappled with shade. However, it was clear that no one had lived here for a while. The grass was long and uneven, and the garden looked wild. Though its exterior was as bright and cheery as ever, the house's gloomy windows gave a distinct impression of dusty vacancy.

I stepped out of the car, in a trance. I barely registered the sound of the door slamming behind me, or of Edward's soft steps as he followed me guardedly.

"Bella," he muttered, "are you sure…" I held a finger up to my lips and took another step toward the house. It seemed to be a living thing, highly magnetized, pulling me toward it. I had a strange compulsion to see inside it. I had to know.

I hesitated at the door, wondering what I would find inside. After a long moment of uncertain stillness, I nodded to Edward, who mutely opened it for me. I walked in…and gasped.

If I had been expecting anything, it certainly wasn't this. All of the furniture remained in place, as if it were still being used. The white couches, the light wood coffee table, the big-screen TV…they'd left it all behind. Only a thick layer of dust was there to attest to the fact that they'd ever gone.

I shut the door behind me and turned to the corner that housed the grand piano. Impossibly, undeniably, it was there, shrouded by a white canvas cover. I stepped up to it and lifted a corner of the cloth. Yes, it was definitely the same instrument—I recognized the smooth contours, the glossy black finish. My breath caught, and I had to grab the piano bench for support.

"Are you alright?" Edward murmured, coming up behind me and catching me around the waist. I nodded.

"Silly of me," I muttered.

"What?"

"To think that you'd taken it with you. I should have known better. But somehow, it made so much sense to me…"

"Why would I? I was already leaving everything of value." I looked at him. "What's a piano," he elaborated, "when you're separating from the love of your…existence?"

"Still, it would have helped me to know that you were still playing"—my voice broke then, and I couldn't hold the tears in any more. Before I could catch my breath, I was sobbing, feeling like an utter fool. Edward gathered me up and let me collapse against his shoulder.

"Maybe we should get you home," he suggested when the worst of it had passed.

"No," I protested faintly, "I need to see the rest of the house." Edward nodded, and together we started up the stairs.

Some of the doors I simply passed, but others I had to open. Carlisle's office remained intact, the majority of the books still on the shelves, only a few paintings missing from the wall. The nail where the wooden cross had hung was bare, however; that comforted me a little.

Next I looked into Alice and Jasper's room. The furniture was exactly the same; that I'd expected. I wasn't here to check the furniture. I turned immediately to the right and opened the closet door.

Just as I'd thought—every rack and shelf was bare. It was just like Alice, to leave everything except the clothes. That should have made me laugh, but the tears inexplicably resumed their flow.

"Don't worry," Edward soothed, "you'll see her again soon." I didn't respond, instead heading back up the stairs to Edward's room. It was still intact, everything. Even the CDs remained on their shelves, organized in their mysterious way.

I sat down on the couch, and Edward joined me. It felt comfortable, almost normal, to resume our usual spots. Like he'd never left at all, I thought derisively. I looked at Edward. He didn't say anything, but I could tell by his expression that he was trying to read me.

"I bet you're wondering why," I murmured.

"Why?"

"Why I needed to come here. I know it doesn't seem to make sense."

"Yes, I was wondering, actually. But you don't need to explain yourself to me." So understanding.

"Yes, I do." He started to protest, but I continued, "It'll make me feel better, maybe slightly less crazy, if I at least have a reason." He nodded and waited for me to proceed. "I guess I figured…I just needed to see it. One last time. Allow myself to remember." We both cringed as we watched that fateful night replay in our minds. The night that started with a party and ended in disaster… "Besides," I interrupted our joint reverie, "if we hadn't come, I always would've wondered how you left it."

"You could have asked," Edward told me.

"I wouldn't have, though. I wouldn't want to make you answer that."

"You know, Bella," he sighed, "there are times when I'm really sorry I can't read your mind."

"Trust me," I replied, "you really don't want to know what I'm thinking." I grinned, but the effect was somewhat ruined by my still-blotchy face.

"I would have to disagree," he replied, taking me into his arms. He leaned down to kiss me. I responded with enthusiasm, but my stomach grumbled loudly, interrupting. Edward withdrew and chuckled. The sound of his laughter still delighted me.

"Oops," I said, "please disregard that."

"Not a chance," he said, helping me up from the sofa. "I have already caused you enough pain; I'm not letting you starve yourself for my sake." His tone was joking, but I sensed undertones of real conviction.

"Fine," I grumbled, "I'll go eat."

"Sounds like a plan." He led me out of his room and back down the stairs. We drifted past Alice and Jasper's and Rosalie and Emmett's rooms, past Carlisle's office, past the kitchen, down to the spacious living room…and then I stopped.

"What is it?" Edward wondered. I drifted over to the piano corner, where a speck of brown had caught my eye. I reached the instrument, and sure enough, there was a long-dead dried rose on the floor, right next to the leg. I picked it up, letting several brittle petals fall to the floor as I did so.

"Alice left one," I whispered, staring at the flower.

"Come on," said Edward, gently taking my free hand while I let the one holding the rose fall to my side. As we exited what I would always think of as the Cullens' house for the last time that century, a trail of fallen petals was left in our wake, a testament to things never forgotten.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

By the time we got back to Charlie's house, I realized I really was hungry. I headed straight for the kitchen, taking a box of spaghetti out of the pantry. I turned around and saw Edward, sitting in his usual chair at the kitchen table. I paused in my tracks, struck by another bout of painful déjà vu.

"Bella?" Edward questioned, looking concerned.

"It's just so strange."

"What is?" Cautiously, ever so cautiously. Would it always be this way with us? Would he always have to be careful around me, watching his every step, measuring his every breath? Even when I was his equal—powerful, beautiful—would he be able to break his habit of alertness around me? I thought back to the months before he'd left. What we had seemed so fragile now, so breakable. I knew we would have to rebuild it if it was going to survive.

"All of this," I finally answered, "You being here. I mean, for months I sleepwalk through a waking nightmare, and then, in the space of a few hours, my life becomes a dream of heaven. I keep thinking…I have to wake up sometime."

"And what makes you think you're not awake?" Edward asked sadly.

"You're here," I repeated. "This can't be real. My mind must be tricking me."

Edward crossed the kitchen in a few quick strides, wrapped his arms around my waist, and kissed me softly.

"There now," he murmured, "Could you possibly have made that up?"

"Probably not," I acquiesced.

"Good." He let me go and, in a flash, got out a pot, filled it with water, and put it on to boil. "Now make your pasta." I complied. We lapsed into a peaceful silence, me stirring, he sitting. We were soon interrupted, however, by the sound of the front door opening and closing.

"Bella?" came Charlie's voice from the hallway.

"Dad? I thought you were fishing!" My tone was, perhaps, a bit higher than usual, pitched with nervousness.

"It's storming like crazy out there," Charlie informed me. I could hear him approaching the kitchen. "I'm surprised you didn't notice." I looked out the window. The rain was sheeting more ferociously than usual, and as I watched, lightning struck hotly across the sky, shredding the clouds in two for a brief second. Thunder rumbled hugely, making me jump. How _had_ I missed that?

But there wasn't much time to think about the storm; Charlie soon entered the kitchen. I watched as he looked straight through Edward, started toward the living room, did a double take, and stopped, facing us.

"Hello, Charlie," Edward greeted calmly, rising from his seat.

"_You_," Charlie hissed, looking livid. The color was rising in his face, a vein in his left temple pulsing. I'd never seen him this angry before. "…_out_…" was all he managed to say.

"Now, Dad," I soothed, panicking a little, "be reasonable. Let us explain…" I knew my efforts were futile, however. What we had to say would just make him angrier.

"Bella," he choked, "you can't honestly…you know what that…that…_did_ to you?"

"Yes," I replied coldly. Edward stared at me, startled. "He came back. Now sit down and let's talk like rational people." I guided Charlie into the free chair, then moved to stand resolutely behind Edward.

"Charlie," Edward started after the vein had stilled, "I can understand why you're not exactly pleased to see me." I could guess from Charlie's expression that this was a major understatement. "But I'm here because I've realized what an utterly moronic and pig-headed decision I made, and I want to make amends." I looked at him; this was laying it on a little thick. However, Edward's face showed only the greatest sincerity.

"And then what?" Charlie exploded. "Leave again, with no way for her to contact you? Turn her into a…a zombie? Disappear, never to be seen again? Do you have any concept of what your leaving did to her?"

"Yes," Edward replied, his voice burning with regret, "I do. But I assure you, I won't do it again. I could never hurt her again. Charlie, I love your daughter." I gave Edward a warning look—this was a little much for Charlie to handle. Indeed, the aforementioned looked positively apoplectic with rage. "And this time," Edward continued, "I'm staying."

"Well…well…" Charlie seemed to be struggling with this new information. All this time, he'd made Edward out to be the bad guy, told himself the same thing I'd been telling myself—that Edward left because he didn't care about me. I think it helped him deal with what I'd become. "Well…what if she doesn't want you to stay?" he looked uncertainly at me, and I glared back at him.

"Then I'd leave," Edward replied without hesitation. "If that's what she wanted, I'd be gone in an instant."

"But it's not what I want," I cut in, shivering at the prospect. Charlie seemed to recognize the truth of this.

"When you say you're staying…" Charlie glared at Edward.

"Excuse me, I should have been more clear. I mean I'm staying with Bella."

"As in, we're not staying here," I clarified. Charlie looked like he was about to speak, but I plowed on, "we're going to Alaska, to visit his family."

"His…family…" Charlie's mouth continued to open and close. He looked like a rabbit in shock. "Alice?" he finally muttered.

"Yes," I replied, "we're going to see Alice. And Dr. Cullen, and Esme and Jasper and Emmett and Rosalie."

"Can't they come here?" Charlie wondered.

"Well…" I had no answer to this.

"I watched my daughter wander around like a ghost for eight months," Charlie said quietly, "and now the person who made her that way turns up and expects to take her away from me just when I get her back. What am I supposed to say to that?"

"Char—Dad…I know it's a lot. But I'm an adult, I can make my own decisions…"

"No, Bella!" Charlie said forcefully, "You are _not_ an adult. You're just eighteen! You're a kid—you don't know _what_ you want!"

"I know what I want, Dad," I said, moving to put my hand on Edward's shoulder, "and he's sitting right here."

Charlie was deathly silent for a moment. Finally, he said, "And after Alaska…what were you planning on doing then?" I let out a breath, relieved that he was finally being reasonable.

"Going to college together. In Maine. There's this little university, Carlisle's just gotten a job there as a professor. Think about it, Dad—I'd still be going to college. We'd have supervision from Edward's parents…"

"Go away," Charlie repeated. "To Maine."

"That's the plan," I agreed.

"No," he replied.

"Wait—what?" I had been sure he'd readily agree to this plan.

"Too far away," he said.

"Dad, be reasonable!" I seemed to be saying that a lot today. "This is my best chance at a successful college career. Because Carlisle works there, he can get me in as a special favor." I wondered if this were true. Unlikely… "It's also the only chance I have at happiness," I added.

Charlie pressed his lips together and settled back in his chair, thinking. As I watched his profile, which was illuminated by the intermittent flash of lightning, I was suddenly struck by the enormity of my decision. The thought of what my disappearance would do to Charlie was almost too much to bear.

Then I glanced back at Edward, reminding myself why I was doing this. I looked into the face that my life orbited around, the eyes that were my religion. I realized again how very aware I was of him; every movement of his hand, every breath that escaped his lips registered in my subconscious mind. Here was my strength. Here was my resolution. Here was my Edward.

I turned to face Charlie again. He was just preparing to speak.

"Well…" he was struggling again. "We can…talk about the college thing." I sighed in relief. No ultimatum, no lecture. He was finally being reasonable.

"After all," he continued, "it's not like you'll be going away forever. I'll still see you on holidays and all that…besides, the important thing is that you go to college, even if it is in Maine. But…are you sure you'll be okay?" He looked so concerned that I was momentarily overwhelmed by an urge to walk over and hug him.

"I'll be fine, Dad," I informed him, looking him in the eye. "I'll be great."

He nodded. "There is one condition." I opened my mouth, but Edward spoke first.

"Name it," he said.

"You stay here for the summer," said Charlie.

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_Don't fall off your computer chairs, now! Next chapter coming shortly ;) In the meantime, reviews endlessly appreciated._


	7. Acquaintance

Chapter Six

Chapter Six: Acquaintance

Everything was set.

Edward and I had prepared a plan. Carlisle, Esme, Alice and Jasper would arrive the next day on flights Edward had reserved. Emmett and Rosalie would follow a week or two after, assuming they wanted to come. Charlie would have his condition. Edward would have what he wanted—more time for me to think through my decision. I'd tried to tell him there was nothing to think about. This wasn't entirely true; seeing Charlie react to Edward's reappearance had given me some qualms. Still, I was firm on the matter. At the end of the summer, I would have my eternity.

After our discussion with Charlie, Edward and my first order of business was to call Alice. We sat down to do so in the kitchen early the next morning. We put his tiny silver cell phone on speakerphone, so we could both hear what she had to say.

She picked up before the first ring. "Hello?" Her voice soothed me in some mysterious way. It was the voice of my best friend, my sister. My answer escaped in a sigh of relief, like a breath I hadn't known I was holding until I let it out.

"Hello, Alice."

"Bella! Oh, I'm so glad—what would have—but—I'm just glad you're back. Or we're back." She was stumbling over her words, something very unusual for her. I smiled involuntarily. "What's the plan?" she asked.

"There isn't one yet," I informed her, "and it's so great to hear your voice again. I really missed you."

"I missed you too, Bella. You have no idea…speaking of that, can I talk to Edward for just a second?" Her voice was sweet. Dangerously sweet.

"Sure…" I glanced at Edward, who picked up the phone apprehensively.

"Turn off speakerphone, please," came Alice's voice. Edward obliged, but it wasn't necessary; her scolding was so loud it could be heard from the opposite corner of the house. I tried not to listen, but the occasional phrase reverberated so sharply about my ears that it was sometimes impossible.

"…COMPLETELY DISAPPEARED…PHONE WAS OFF…NOT A WORD…THE POOR GIRL…" I looked up sharply, for a moment overtaken by a sudden, irrational fear at Alice's words. Had he found someone else? Was all of this just a fake-out? Was he going to leave me again?

Then common sense beat the idea out of my head. Of course there wasn't anyone else. Edward's presence at my side confirmed that this was impossible; it was just the insecurity that had overtaken me during his absence, rearing its ugly head. I soon realized that "the poor girl" was me. I must have heard pieces of two different scoldings…and here my mind reached another roadblock.

"You didn't tell them you were leaving." It was meant to be a question, but it came out as a breathless statement. I just couldn't wrap my head around it. The Cullens told each other everything. They were an ideal family. No secrets. They didn't even really have the choice to keep secrets. What with Edward's mind reading and Alice's clairvoyance…

Wait a moment. Why hadn't Alice been able to see Edward's arrival here? Since he had come all the way from Alaska, she would've had plenty of time. What was I missing here?

I didn't have time to question either of them, however, before the doorbell rang. I looked from Edward to the doorway and back, indecisive. Finally, unwillingly, I muttered, "Guess I'd better go get that…" I walked out of the room, down the stairs, and to the door, which I opened reluctantly.

On the doorstep stood a tall, muscular boy with silky skin and Native American coloring. With his girth and height, I would have put him at about twenty years old, were it not for his wide, rather round face and boyish features. That face seemed familiar, but I couldn't place it. What made the boy even more inscrutable was the expression he now wore—tight, forced. Like he was attempting and failing to conceal great anger, or maybe loathing. I shivered. It reminded me far too much of Edward's face my first day in Forks, although even this boy's handsome features could scarcely compare with Edward's glorious beauty.

"Can I help you?" I asked him, hesitant.

"Yeah," he replied, shaking himself out of his apparently unpleasant reverie. "I'm Jacob. Billy Black's son. Remember me?" He looked hopeful; the expression immediately warmed me to him.

"Yeah, of course," I replied, suddenly recalling an image long buried in the back of my mind. It was of a lanky, longhaired, soft-looking boy of sixteen. An image that didn't corroborate with that of the hard-muscled young man in front of me. "You've grown," I added without thinking.

He laughed tightly. "I've heard…Actually, I'm here to pass a message to Charlie from Billy." He looked apologetic. "That big storm last night knocked out our phone connection. It should be back by tomorrow, but in the meantime…Rabbit express." He indicated the car parked on the street in front of the house—an old Volkswagen Rabbit. I squinted to make out the model of the vehicle, and, realizing what it was, laughed at his joke.

"So…what's the message?" As nice as it was to see Jacob again, I had more pressing issues at hand than reuniting with and old acquaintance, and I was a little more than anxious to be back upstairs.

"Ah…" he seemed to be focused on something else entirely. "Oh! The message. Right. Um, tell Charlie that, um, Billy said, erm…that Friday would be a good day for fishing. And he said to meet him at, um, his house, at 6:00." Yes, Jacob was definitely distracted.

"Okay…" I said. Now that I thought about it, this whole thing was a little off…from what I understood, Charlie had gone to meet Billy and their friends only a few hours ago. They were probably together at this very moment.

"Well, uh…" I didn't know what to say. I wanted to find out what was going on, but at the same time I wanted Jacob to go away. I had a lot on my mind, and one strange encounter with a family friend just didn't seem to hold as much importance as it normally would have.

"So"—Jacob began, but broke off abruptly when Edward walked up behind me. His expression appeared calm, but the molten gold in his eyes seemed to have hardened, and now his pupils were inscrutable brass balls.

"_You_," Jacob hissed, his face suddenly crimson with rage. He seemed to be overwhelmed by his fury, shaking with it. Indeed, right before my eyes he started to shake, minutely at first, then in huge tremors so fast that his form seemed to blur, become taller, wider…

I looked at Edward, whose face was now alarmed.

"Bella," he growled, not taking his eyes off of the blur in front of me, "Bella, get behind me…" I complied, sheepish and confused. But the moment I turned around, I heard a snarl and whirled to look.

On the doorstep, where a minute before a sixteen-year-old boy had stood, was a gigantic…wolf. It was about ten feet tall at the shoulder and beautiful, silky fur of an earthy reddish-brown color. Its intelligent dark eyes were fixated on Edward, flat and filled with bloodlust.

At the sight of this creature, my heart stuttered to a stop and then picked up in double-time.

It was the wolf from my dream.

My mind crashed in on itself, and I promptly blacked out.

Sorry this chapter was so short. I did it for the sake of suspense, which I know probably isn't your favorite thing either. Still, drop a review while I immediately rush off to work on the new chapter!


	8. Warning

Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven: Warning

Waves were crashing all around my head. Thick waves. Painful waves. Waves of…sound.

A feral, furious snarling surrounded me, jolting me halfway awake. The suddenly recalled memory of the wolf that had inexplicably replaced Jacob finished the job for me. As I came to, I registered the cold hand on my shoulder, the frantic voice in my ear.

"Bella? Bella! Are you--" then the hand was gone, the sweet voice filtering away into a deadly growl that was so soft it was almost a purr. I sat up to look around, and a lance of pain stabbed the back of my neck. So I must have hit my head. Not that this was surprising. I slowly peeled one eye open, then the other. My vision focused, and, sure enough, there was the wolf from my dream, growling ferociously, its teeth bared—looking murderous.

"Please calm down." Edward's voice was smooth, cool, despite his almost panicked expression.

The wolf snarled louder.

"Do you really want to do this in front of a human?" The wolf did nothing. I wondered vaguely why Edward was addressing the creature like this.

"If you harm her, you break the treaty. Neither of us wants that to happen, do we?" Edward's voice was a sheath of ice, the coolness in it radiating around him. I wondered at the strange juxtaposition of hatred and control in his posture. The wolf's expression was alight with fire. I had never seen an animal look so angry.

I barely had time to register Edward's form crouching defensively before the beast sprang at him. In a flash, Edward met it head on, and they collided with and unbelievably loud smack, like a gigantic bass drum falling down a mountain path paved with mallets.

The impact sent them rolling across the lawn. They stopped right by the edge of the forest, the wolf's back against the foliage. Both of them immediately stood up. The wolf looked completely unfazed, to my surprise. Its short fur bristled as it crouched up on its haunches…

And then my shock immediately turned to horror as the beast lunged for Edward again. My heart nearly stopped beating. As it jumped, the wolf became a red blur of movement, hurtling toward my…_Edward_, bent on destruction. For some reason, this time seemed worse—maybe because I had time to register the movement.

It was over in a split second when Edward's white blur joined the mix. There was an enormous cracking noise, and then the massive canine peeled off in a sort of sideways twisting motion. It landed on its feet, but its head was down. Its muzzle seemed to be hurt. It looked so forlorn, I felt sorry for it. For a moment. Then it started at Edward again.

This time Edward ran at it from the side, and yet again they collided. There was barely any sound, but the wolf came away limping. It looked incredibly pathetic, and I felt a sudden urge to protect it. What did the poor creature think it was doing, trying to attack an indestructible being?

"Don't kill it," I found myself whispering. It was a soft plea, but apparently Edward heard it; he turned his head briefly to glance at me, face filled with surprise.

And that was all the opening the wolf needed. While Edward's head was turned, it leapt suddenly at him. I watched, aghast, as the wolf latched its jaws onto his shoulder. Edward became a haze of action as he attempted to dislodge the beast, but it held on. Then, abruptly, a sickening crack sliced the air in half and the wolf came away, holding a piece of Edward's white flesh in its muzzle.

I don't know when I started screaming. Probably when I saw the big chunk that was missing from Edward's shoulder—because something had literally taken a bite out of it. I didn't even realize I was the one making the high-pitched keening sound until I tried to swallow and ended up choking. I saw Edward again, looking at me with a pained expression of concern.

Every spare thought in my mind begged me to run to him, but my feet wouldn't move. Instead, I let my eyes focus on him, nearly blind with panic and tears—where did those come from?

Edward didn't break his pleading eyes away from my horrified stare until some movement nearby drew his gaze. I followed it and saw that the wolf's shape was blurring, shuddering in on itself. In a moment, there was no wolf at all…just Jacob Black, standing there, half submerged in the undergrowth of the forest, a piece of Edward's shoulder still clenched in his teeth.

Jacob was the wolf. The wolf was Jacob. Jacob had turned into a wolf…of course. It made sense. I had already met a vampire, so why wouldn't there be werewolves, as well? Through my horror, I barely had the capacity to resign to the realization.

The young werewolf spat out the piece of flesh with an expression of disgust. It…he…turned to Edward, who, I noted with mildly outraged surprise, didn't appear to be in any physical pain.

"This," hissed Jacob, glaring furiously at Edward, "is the only warning I'm going to give you. _Leave_." And with one swift glance at me, he ran off into the forest, still limping slightly.

My muscles finally caught up with my brain, and I was instantly on my feet and running toward Edward. He was now clutching his shoulder and cringing, as if the pain had just caught up with him.

"…shoulder…" was all I could manage as I stood, hands fluttering uselessly about, by his side. He glanced at me, trying to mask his pain with his expression.

"It'll be fine, Bella." I don't know what I expected, but it certainly wasn't the cool, even tone in which he said this. Still cringing, he picked up the gleaming piece of pale flesh and…just set it back in place. Without a sound, his skin seemed to grow back around it, and just like that the wound was healed.

He didn't turn around to face me.

"Edward," I said uncertainly, "are you alright?" Now he faced me, his expression still guarded.

"Yes. Are you?"

"Am…? Oh." I felt the back of my head. "It'll be fine. You know I've had worse." His eyes widened in disbelief.

"You're not…scared?"

"Why?" I asked, suddenly horrorstruck. "He's not going to come back, is he?"

"Not today. I was more referring to the fact that, after having my appendage nearly ripped off by a savage beast, I was able to simply put myself back together. That doesn't frighten you?" he looked unsure.

"Is your shoulder going to be okay?" I asked him, starting to realize what he was getting at.

"Yes…"

"Then why would it? Edward, it's time for you to stop putting so much focus on the fact that you're a vampire. When will you accept that I can accept it?" He grinned.

"I keep forgetting what a rare creature you are. How did I get so lucky?" I smiled back at him, then returned to the matter at hand.

"So that was a…um…werewolf, right?"

"Yes," he replied darkly.

"And…you mentioned some sort of treaty, and then he…attacked you. Then told you to leave. So…what was that about?"

He sighed. "If I were to say that was a long story," he grimaced, "it would be an understatement."

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Once we were back in the house and had settled at the kitchen table, Edward began his explanation.

"When we were here…the first time," he said, "They were here as well. At that time, their leader—the alpha wolf, I suppose—was Jacob's grandfather, Ephraim Black."

"Wait," I interrupted, "So…who are the werewolves? There's a group of them?"

"Yes," he sighed. "All of them—at least, last time we were here—were Quileute. So, technically, the Quileute chief, at that time, was the same person who led the werewolf pack."

"But why were they all Quileute?" I questioned. "It doesn't make sense…wouldn't there be others, from other places, joining their pack?"

Edward stared at me for a moment, then said, "Ah, I see what you mean. Werewolves…well, they don't work quite the same way as we do. This is the only pack of them I've ever come across. Werewolves don't…end up the way they are the same way we do."

"So a werewolf bite doesn't turn you into a werewolf?" I asked him.

"No," he agreed. "Carlisle thinks it's genetic…the people whose fathers were werewolves become werewolves themselves. As far as we know, all of them are male."

"Why is that?"

"We don't know," he admitted.

"So…" I had to think here. "So, what about the treaty you mentioned? What did you mean by that?"

"As I was saying before," he replied, "When we were here the first time, Ephraim Black was their leader. There was some…conflict, and finally Ephraim and Carlisle decided to draw up an agreement to keep the peace. That's the treaty Jacob mentioned. We agreed to keep to separate territories—Forks is, or was, neutral. If any of us bit anyone, if any of the werewolves attacked anyone, or if either side crossed into the others' territory, the other side had a right to open hostilities."

"So the treaty still stands, then?" I wondered.

"I don't know," he told me. "I think it did, but Jacob broke it by attacking me. It might be in our best interest to get Alice and the others here as soon as possible; I don't know what the wolves will do next."

I gulped, remember Jacob's warning at the prom so long ago: _We'll be watching_.

"Yeah," I agreed, "I think we should definitely call Alice back. And then I have about a million more questions for you."

There ya go. Please nobody shoot me for the Edward's injury thing; you don't realize how much information you learn about vampires in New Moon and Eclipse until you try to rewrite them; it was necessary for Bella to see how vampires' injuries healed. Anyway, review, even if you've reviewed previous chapters!


End file.
